Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap – 1/13/15

The Beverly Hills version of the Real Housewives series has always struck me as the platinum standard of the franchise. Sure, the women from New York own spacious mansions in the Hamptons that come complete with tennis courts and perfectly manicured sprawling lawns, and the women from New Jersey live in homes stuffed with the largest Baroque-style of furniture ever measured by modern man. Not to be outdone, the ladies from the O.C., who first brought this televised aspirational version of Dante’s hell into our living rooms, have the largest breast implants of all the women combined, but those distinctions simply do not matter. Because it is the group whose zip code is 90210 or 90210-adjacent who bring the real glam to those of us who watch the program while wearing sweatpants.

It seems important that I tell you that I have watched every single episode of every single season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I haven’t been able to fully commit to the other incarnations of the Housewives phenomenon, one that I … Continue reading

January 14th, 2015 | 4 Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS REUNION (Part 2) – 4/2/13

Part Deux of the BH Reunion and my second recap of the day…. what a cruel April Fools joke Mr. Andy has played on me by packing these California broads all into one night. We pick up where we left off, with the Richards Sisters arguing with Yo about whether or not she’s nice. Lisa tells everyone that she believes Yo that no Airport Conversation took place, because it wasn’t on camera and stuff Kyle said that was mean was, which to me is an answer that doesn’t make sense except to say that she’s on Team Yo, b*tches. Mr. Andy asks Lisa who she trusts, and she basically trusts everyone except Tay’s just okay and Kyle, well, she loves her but they have issues. Kyle says the future of their friendship is in Lisa’s hands. I’d say.   The Oof-Ifs   Time to discuss the elephant in the room, or the plastic circus lion who’s not, as the case may be: Adrienne, and the demise of the Oof-If marriage. Mr. Andy asks the ladies … Continue reading

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS REUNION (PART 1) – 3/25/13

Reunion time! It feels like we’ve hardly had time to reflect because, well, we have not. The BH9ers are back and there’s a lot of lace happening today: red lace (Yo), black lace (The Glands), pink-and-white lace with tutu (Kim)…. and then there’s Tay wearing a secondhand ice dancer costume with her Cocker Spaniel hair.

Mr. Andy announces, in his severest tone, that Adrienne decided “not to participate today”. He acknowledges that “_____________ was revealed that Adrienne refused to speak directly about”, and that her behavior “frustrated you – AND US.” Adrienne will not be back next season, he intones. The ladies gasp. “Her final act was not showing up tonight.” The bus’ ignition turned Mr. Andy now gives each of the other six ‘Wives a chance to drive it. Kyle thinks Adrienne has breached their “sisterhood”. Ever-sensible Lisa thinks Adrienne “changed the boundaries” – that when you go on reality TV you deal with your deal, whatever it may be, and that The Glands didn’t tell any secrets, she pointed out that Adrienne … Continue reading