Hi ho hi ho! You’re back, and so am I. Here’s the news:

* It seems Vic wiped out and injured her neck during her NYE ski trip with the Dubrows and Donn2. Can’t you just hear the yowling now?

* In other “active” news, Melissa Gorga is hinting on Twitter that she and Joe are making a fitness DVD. Speculation abounds that she isn’t really making a video, but is just trying to one-up Teresa who supposedly is going to make a video as part of her “Skinny Italian” empire. I think both ladies should be advised that the market for this is nil and focus on making sprinkle cookies for their PTG bake sales.

* In other New Jersey news, Danielle Staub Tweeted a photo of herself in a white lacy cocktail dress over the weekend, further hyping speculation that she is returning to RHONJ and was dressed as such to attend Gia “Puff Tweeny” Guidice’s all-white 12th birthday party. Champagne snowball!

* Back in California, the Maloofs are supposedly thisclose to … Continue reading →

Happy new year! After two straight Mondays free of this absurdity I was perfectly horrified to see RHOBH scheduled for 2 HOURS of Vanderpumping bitchiness tonight. I strapped on my astronaut diapers and steeled myself for a long, painful, late night, and so could not have been more grateful when the storyline segued into the premiere of Vanderpump Rules at around minute 63, at which point I retired for the evening. As Melissa Gorga would say, thank you baby Jesus! Intrastaff sex and waitstaff catfights will have to wait another day, for me at least. While we were out:

* Feige, who appears to have finally made it to FOH this season after years of striving, posted her first blog entry (about Kyle’s dinner party) on the Bravo website only for it to be taken down after a deluge of angry commenters descended. I think that is a first for bravotv.com. In related news, BH police are investigating a death threat Feige received in the form of a note left on her car, which would … Continue reading →

And we’re back. Certainly the puerility of reality TV, and the Housewives in particular, seems a lot grosser this week than last week, but I do hope we can find something to laugh at in it, because after all laughter is the best medicine.

In the suspended-reality of Bravoland the Oof-Ifs are still shouting all sorts of profanities and defamatory remarks at The Glands, but as the sands have fallen through the hourglass here’s what’s been going on for the Housewives in real life:

* Both Richards sisters have signed up for some totally idiotic new competition show called “STARS in DANGER: The High Dive”, at least the second half of the title being self-explanatory. Other “stars” to compete on this show include JWoww, and Antonio Sabato, Jr. Let’s be honest: the only reason anyone is going to tune in to this is to check the competitors out in their bathing suits. I cannot believe Kyle is doing this considering she wouldn’t be seen out of her caftan on last season’s trip to Hawaii … Continue reading →