Amanda’s team presents. Since Amanda is sniffly, she asks Chris to do the talking, and so it becomes “Chris’ team”. They have created a bamboo structure covered in green stuff that’s supposed to look like vines, and a pink-rose covered lit up bucket that appears to be camouflaging some vicious surprise. Altogether it looks like a festive floral version of the game Mousetrap. Perhaps they are plotting to capture Giggy!
Amanda’s table offerings include:
· a cava glee with buttermilk foam and a fizzy raspberry something. Requires a long spoon.
· a cigar thing filled with some sort of cream. Oh, Monica. Taylor looks confused but I see chewing.
· a macaroon, of all the unexpected things, which involves some sort of dropper to dot with sauce. Or poison. Taylor is sucking the dropper. Monica!
· Melissa has made some thing called a cremeux. I don’t know what it is, but I think she was confused by how Mr. Lisa pronounced “crumble”, too. It’s melty but good.
· some very elaborate ten-flavored “pink” velvet cake which just has too much going on for me to describe without it coming out like a giant double entendre, so I won’t.
· and an oat-apple-honey-peanut-butter dog bone shaped mess for Giggy. And with that, they just won.
Craig’s team rolls out their “whimsical” table, decorated with a deeply impressive blown-sugar centerpiece that looks like a breathtaking glass chandelier, what parts of it can be seen peeking out beneath the exquisite, but voluminous, floral arrangement springing therefrom. There are candy dishes topped with frosting Giggys, lots of extra glassware for embellishment, and rose petals everywhere to encourage Lisa to increase her marital duties to Mr. Lisa 25% for 2011 via a roll in the macaroons, I guess. Amanda’s team is appealing to the dog factor, Craig’s is going for sweet luv.
Unaware Amanda/Chris’ team already closed the deal with the dog biscuit, Craig’s team presents the following:
· a chocolate-raspberry tarte nouveau with ganache and melty lychee sorbet and pink praline.
· a pink white chocolate mousse (what? is it pink or is it white or is it brown?) triangle with cherry puree. Naughty.
· a passionfruit cheesecake lollipop covered with cotton candy. Oh, lawdy, now we get the clip of Taylor molesting cotton candy from last season. Lisa calls her out on it and Taylor gives her a teeth-baring gritted smile. Don’t go all Oklahoma on us, now.
· the aforementioned pink lemonade, which makes Kyle pucker and shudder. Needs a straw, says Hubert Keller.
· a chocolate beet cake with beet cream cheese icing, which Lisa finds confounding but delicious. I’ve heard of this, I don’t know why she hasn’t. She’s the one who owns a damn restaurant. I hereby predict chocolate beet cake will be the macaroon of 2012. Just watch.
· and the most-favorite dish of all: a rhubarb rose crisp in honor of Pandy, who loves it. It was “crumble” after all! Lisa grudgingly declares it better than her own. But no treat for Giggy! You’re screwed, Team Craig! Fools, all of you!
Our 30-second funny comes with a whole bunch of double-entendre comments from the Elvis guy about something going into a “tight tart”. Dammit, Monica!
The result is preordained; Amanda’s team takes it with the dog biscuit. Craig’s team’s presentation was too whimsical and girly and had too much going on. Hugh Acheson describes the presentation as a scene from “Dessert Hoarders”, which, having lived next door to a hoarder, is a really foul thought. And in the end, Nelson the Rubik’s Cube Master is eliminated. Giggy Vanderpump got a thanks in the credits. You’re welcome, Giggy!
Love!
Not only have you now recapped another favorite of mine – TS:JD, but you did so in my honor! I seriously am developing quite the girl crush on you!
Loved this blog, by the way. YOU funny, man!
Hi Elizabeth,
Really enjoying yur BH recaps. One small correction concerning the German Shepherd. That’s not the one Paul gave Adrienne last year. They already had this one. They had to find anothern home for the gift dog because of the children. Had something to do with the dog and boys not being compatible o something similar.
Keep up the good work.
Hello, I’ve enjoyed your recaps of the RHOBH, I have to say the only RH show I do watch, it’s more entertaining, I like the women more and Giggy, well he’s just so adorable, but yes, I keep thinking, does that dog ever get to walk? and I love my dog but to have him sit at the table while you eat? I have to draw the line and it’s having a dog at the dinner table.
Entertaining recap funny and just a little snarky which I love.
I recall seeing Villa Bianca in an episode of either Millionaire Matchmaker with Patti Stanger (also a Bravo show) or it was Million Dollar Listing. What I do remember is that Mauricio was on Million Dollar Listing doing a deal with Josh Altman. I’m just waiting for one of the girls to have Jeff Lewis redesign their house, talk about cross overs.
Can’t wait for the next recap, great job.