As Tay would say, ENOUGH! Enough of the pain, enough of the ‘drama’ (now there’s a word that has jumped the shark). Let’s have a ladylike charity lunch, shall we, and do some good? Camille, chair of the John Wayne Cancer Institute gala, is getting ready for showtime in her giant closet and I have that hamper! See, I knew Camille and I had things in common! Camille’s deciding which sunnies to wear and puts on a pair of Guccis that make her look superfly. The event will really honor Camille’s mom, who has survived Stage 3 ovarian cancer and is now fighting bladder cancer. Despite her ongoing struggle, that woman is blessed, because ovarian cancer is one of the hardest cancers to diagnose, treat, and overcome. She looks terrific and may she continue to win the fight.
But back to the charity luncheon and gift market, which Kyle observes looks like an exploded Easter basket. Brandi clomps in because she’s not going to be bullied by the Mean Girls into not coming. Dana buys Suri Cruise’s $2900 hand-me-down white fur bolero because she’s an idiot for labels. Camille finds herself cornered by an unblinking Frasier fan disguised in a 1991 floral Escada suit paired with a massive fuchsia floral fascinator, and fascinating it is. Note to PR person: call and check in on the restraining orders.
I have to talk about Camille for a minute, because she ended up choosing the right shades and looks like a million and a half bucks in her chic lace sheath with on-seam pockets, flawlessly made in 2011’s Color of the Year honeysuckle, paired with just the perfect bone leather mini hobo with just the right amount of fringe. Say what you will, that Camille can get herself dressed. I find myself loving her more with every ep of Season 2.
A clearly unnerved woman improbably named Lana asks the crowd to “welcome Camille for coming today,” which is a bit backhanded, and our Miss C takes the stage to thank the assembled for contributing to the fight against ovarian and prostate cancers, and to praise her mother’s courage, dignity, and grace. She thought she stumbled a bit but I say well done.
Meanwhile, back at Table 10, Kyle’s whispering in Lisa’s ear and The Glands is sure they are talking about her because they have nothing more important to tickle each others’ auditory canals over. Brandi decides to enter the fray by stage whispering to Adrienne that her ex, Mr. LeAnn Rimes, is giving her a hard time about the kids, and that she thinks Kids need to be Off Limits. Which I think Adrienne agrees with since her kids have been conspicuously off-camera so far this season, but really who’s going to argue with that anyway? It looks like Lisa’s gearing up for a Brandi Confrontation, but it seems that’s what’s called Editing in the trade because really our Lisa is pumping herself up to ask Brandi where she lives, and once that’s out and answered doesn’t know where to go conversationally. Neither do I, honey. Finally the lunch is over and Brandi, who seems to have left the bottom half of her dress at home, again, crutches out dissolute.
We wrap up tonight’s episode with the improbable twosome, Kim and Adrienne, out for the most lethargic “walk” ever. I can’t understand why they are dressed in “athletic gear” for this outing, if a Juicy sweatsuit and Boston Proper MILFwear (naturally that’s Adrienne) can be considered “athletic gear”. We’re accompanying these two on this leisurely amble to establish the following points: (1) Kim has sized The Glands up and there will never be a second chance; (2) Kim is still mad at Kyle over the Limo Incident; (3) we’re still being very vague about Kim’s afflictions, and (4) Kim is super pruny. I don’t think moisturizer can fix that.
Next week: Lisa’s mysterious friend Mohammad wants to throw an engagement party for Pandy and Jason at his underground lair, and the girls go on a spa day! Hope it’s healthy and safe!
Written by:
Elizabeth Spilotro
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Loves it! Wrapped up beautifully. And by the way hire mindy weiss instead of frauk or bruce lee or whatever his name is. i agree with lisa is he wanting to give out money bags as favors. hope i get invited then. 🙂 lol
Love your recaps! This time I even read along as I watched, and there were times when I thought you’d be going off on a tangent and that something didn’t actually happen, you were just making fun, but then it actually happened. For example, Kim spraying air freshener thinking it was breath spray…I thought that was a joke until I SAW THAT PART. WTF!
Oh, and a question I’ve had since the beginning…why does Kim have a daughter named Kimberly? How strange is that. That’s like me naming my daughter Alyson when I go by Aly. That’s just…odd. Who does that?