Anyway, the various guests – his and hers – arrive, and there is much air kissing and enthusiastic embracing. Adrienne bailed that very morning which is making this whole thing so much more fun than it would be otherwise. Party chatter is about the various trips everyone is “separately” making to France, and how they can all “hook up” in Paris. Yo was just there last week and now has to go back to tend to some modeling contracts for Gigi, very Kris Jenner of her which is ironic because one of her husband’s various ex-wives was Mrs. Jenner before Kris Jenner. Lisa is going to swing in after their visit with Lil’ Mr. Lisa in St. Tropez. The Umanskys are also going to Paris for a little romantic getaway – what a coincidence! So how about if Kim, The Glands, and the Zanucks come too? And Tay? Well, no. She’s going to stay home and focus on her “sobriety” and keeping track of where Lil’ Kennedy has wandered off to now. Speaking of Tay, Yo confronts Tay about the sh*t talking she’s been engaged in. Tay doesn’t know what on earth she could be talking about. Kyle helpfully clarifies for Yo that Tay is the loyal friend of David Foster’s ex-wife, who still loves him and therefore does not love Yo. In other words, “oh yeah, she’s totally been talking sh*t about you”. A future conflict is foreshadowed, and we launch into the customary David Foster party singalong. The End.
It’s time to jet off to Le France, chickadees! The Pumps arrive in St. Tropez with Giggy, who had absolutely no trouble getting into France because the French love small dogs. Warren is just a few years younger than Lisa, and has a son who is almost the same age as Max Pump so it’s all very cozy and modern family. And Sue, it seems, was friends with Lisa when they were both actresses and Sue’s claim to fame is that she was once a Bond Girl! She played Log Cabin Girl, and IMDb lists an assortment of other credits in mostly TV movies in roles like Sexy Girl and Girl In Nightclub and Girl At Party, so this was obviously her peak. Warren has done well for himself as a landlord in trendy Notting Hill. Cocktails and beach time ensue. The End.
Back in the US, everyone is arriving at LAX for their flight to Paris. And they all just happen to be on the same Air Tahiti Nui flight, such an amazing coincidence since they all supposedly were making separate trips! We flew Air Tahiti Nui on our honeymoon and it was lovely and I got a nice eye mask, and also sat on some chocolates which got all over the butt of my JLo velour track suit in a very embarrassing pattern. If any chocolate residue gets on Yo’s white skinnies during this flight I plan to blame it on Adrienne Maloof who has an established record of leaving skidmarks. Yo is also wearing some hilarious blue high tops. She looks like a character from Fat Albert. The Glands, practical as always, is in a white strapless dress. Kyle has on a belted cheetah trench so I hope she’s the one to get my old seat because the chocolate won’t show as bad.
They gather in the lounge and Kim’s really excited for this trip because she’s sober, and now admits to contriving excuses to avoid travel previously because it would mess with her boozing. Sadly, Marisa Zanuck calls to say they are not going to make the trip after all, because while they were en route to the airport they got a call that her father in law had died unexpectedly. Very sad and my geniune condolences to Marisa and Dean.
The remaining world travelers arrive in France on Bastille Day. A French tank passes their VW transport van on the road on their way to the hotel they all just happen to be staying at. Would you look at that! First they are all on the same flight, now they are all staying at the same hotel! You’d think they planned it! Meanwhile, Lil’ Mr. Lisa has surprised the Pumps with a helicopter transport to Paris which is just the way Giggy likes it, so they all are reunited just in time for cocktail hour. And guess who’s late? Kimmy! Late and making no sense at all. Lisa suspects sauce. Has she been tippling, or just tired? We’ll have to wait for next week to find out.
Next time: Kim has a meltdown, and the men ride Segways while the ladies get a cooking lesson. And Kyle and Lisa get into Round Two of You Aren’t My Friend Anymore. Au revoir, minous!
Written by:
Elizabeth Spilotro
Website: www.thislittlemama.com
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sorry, there is NO way Lil Mr Lisa is a few years younger than Lisa, when she is easily in her late 50’s or early 60’s. That means her friend Sue executed a real cradle robbing. I think they are fudging the ages here….no surprise!
Right on, jessica1! The age fudging must be RAMPANT here! This article at WetPaint (http://www.wetpaint.com/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/articles/lisa-vanderpumps-age-how-old-is-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-star)
says 52, but I’m calling BS on that as well. I think she’s older, darnit! She looks fabulous, don’t get me wrong, but I’m guessing late 50’s as well.
Can we pause for a moment and try to fathom the reason she would lower herself to appearing on DWTS?! Money? Nope. Fame? Ding! It’s ridiculous. So much for needing to be at her restaurants 24/7…
I like Lisa, but she’s overexposed already.
That article claims 52?! I like Lisa too but that is outright lie, it has to be. She looks fab and maybe, just maybe I’d say certain style choices *age* her a bit. And Ken has to be in his 70’s (or just about).
We shouldn’t be surprised, it’s Bev Hills and there is no benefit in telling your real age there, unfortunately.