THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS – 2/4/13

Camille sighs that she wishes Adrienne could be there with them, because, you know, Vegas just isn’t as much fun without the least fun Housewife to share it with. The Glands, too, is sorry Adrienne isn’t there (what?) because she actually likes her just fine, it’s just that Adrienne got ugly with HER. Oh, here we go. The Glands doesn’t want to speak of the crisis because she’s under a legal constraint, so her BFF Sober Jennifer recounts the situation of Why Adrienne Got Nasty First. It seems the Oof-Ifs summoned The Glands to a meeting at the Polo Lounge where they shared their reunion strategy to go after Lisa because they were still mad about the Maloof Hoof. Seriously? SUCK IT UP PEOPLE. It seems further that when The Glands called Camille in Hawaii to share her worry about being roped into this strategy, Camille told The Glands that she was aware of the plot against Lisa. Oh hell no, shouts Camille! She did not have advance knowledge of the plot! She was not a conspirator! She will not be thrown under the Brandi Bus! Someone seems peculiarly defensive here. “I can handle it, but I will not stand for it,” Camille shouts, and storms out, able assistant Kyle scurrying after.

Kyle successfully retrieves Camille, who then brings up the other petty thing Adrienne was upset about at reunion time, that being Pandy Pump’s bachelorette party taking place at the Hard Rock Hotel, not at the Palms, which is when The Glands interjects that Adrienne only owns 2% of the Palms so why should she care? This is perceived as a terribly cruel slight. As far as I can tell the Palms isn’t exactly a top tier Vegas destination (above Circus Circus; below Mandalay Bay) so why Adrienne would want to make more of it rather than less I do not understand. Lisa wants to know how any of these things (the Hoof, the bachelorette party, the 2%) separately or accumulatedly compare to the accusations Adrienne made against Lisa about selling stories to tabloids, or justify the plot. Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it anymore so she diverts attention by saying The Glands lied about not having had a nose job. Where did that come from? Then Camille jumps in and announces that Lisa has lied about owning Sur. What the hell is going on here? I feel like I have missed something. Lisa clarifies that she and Mr. Lisa own 51% of Sur and are investors with partners. That settles that. The Glands’ nose job remains an open question.

Yo decides to leap in and put an end to this nonsense, announcing that they have “wasted three dinners on this” and accusing Kyle of being a sh*t stirrer, which she of course is. Kyle protests that she simply needs to share her opinion and defend her friends. “We know your opinion,” Yo snipes. Lisa pipes up that even with her own problems with Adrienne, she feels bad for her, but she also gets that The Glands felt aggrieved and cornered. Yo brushes the whole situation off as nobody’s business. Camille starts shrieking that she agrees! Is Camille now mad at Yo? Mad or not, she’s apparently hitching a ride on Yo’s jet home along with everyone else before telling The Glands off for putting her on the spot. Another excellent dinner party ends with everyone pissy.

Back in LA, Kyle’s popped into a green jumpsuit and hopped over to visit the patient, Kimmy, who is recovering at home with the able assistant of her friend Melody and her dog, Kingsley. Kyle didn’t even know Kim had a dog. Really on top of things here. Kyle thinks the nose looks great so far, and gingerly asks Kimmy about the pain pill thing. It seems Kimmy hasn’t even needed the medication now that she found her trusty electric cigarette. I suppose that’s good. What’s in that thing?

Over at Villa Rosa, the Pumps are taking tea in the garden and I wish Mr. Lisa would button his shirt just one or two more spots because I can see his left nipple. Lisa gives him the lowdown on the Vegas dinner fiasco and tells him about Camille’s “you don’t own Sur” accusation. Silly cow, says Mr. Lisa. Silly indeed. What’s really got Lisa’s knickers in a bundle is the fact that her supposed friend Kyle has yet to stand up for her once ever on anything. Not against Adrienne, not on the who-owns-Sur thing, nothing. She is feeling her loyalty chipping away. Mr. Lisa thinks Kyle needs to learn a lesson in true friendship. I sense a faceoff looming.

Next time: Kyle and Lisa have a wine summit, and then o lord everyone is gathering for a picnic of some kind which means Tay is back. I have really enjoyed these two episodes without her. At said lunch Yo accuses Adrienne of being insecure and insignificant, and Adrienne denies she’s suing The Glands. Buckle up, kittycats.

Written by:
Elizabeth Spilotro
Website: www.thislittlemama.com
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