Today is the day you’ve been waiting for with bated breath – the return of my RHOBH recap column! I know it’s been a lot of anticipation, all leading up to November 6th. What have we done with ourselves these last few months while our BH9ers have been offscreen? And what have they been doing? Let’s get caught up, shall we?
* Lisa Vanderpump sold the Chateau Pump and “moved house” so she’s no longer the Oof-Ifs’ neighbor and got to work on her own proposed spinoff centered on SUR;
* Kim, who is now sober, ditched The Bear and got some work done;
* Kyle opened a retail establishment of some sort and got some lipo, rumor has it;
* Camille, who is relegated to FOH status this season, endured a slew of really obnoxious and juvenile behavior from Frasier and his teenage beard, most recently the beard appearing at the Playboy Halloween party dressed as what seemed to be a Camille costume (and accompanied by the newborn baby Frase, just to make sure it’s clear that the beard has babies whereas Camille hires that job out);
* Brandi farted around on Twitter while her ex-husband’s new bimbo went to Twitterhab and sued a schoolteacher for being mean to her;
* Taylor started shilling for ViSalus, a multi-level marketing personal health contrivance, and somehow in the process managed to gain more than a desirable amount of weight which bears a distinct resemblance to Chardonnay bloat. She also has “officially” fallen for her now-separated lawyer, the lucky bastard; and
* finally, and sadly, the Oof-Ifs have split and the divorce has taken a nasty turn, with Bernie the Enforcer posting photos of alleged abuse on Facebook and lots of “inside information” that tends to be sympathetic to Adrienne leaking to RadarOnline.
Much of all this to play out this season on RHOBH, which either adds to the anticipation or takes all the fun out of it. We shall see.
Loved the connect the dots sequence on who knew, slept and or killed who! I liked Brandi last season but in just one episode this season I’m already over all the lewd talk and inappropriate gifts. She is starting to remind of Sonja (with a sexy J!), that a little sex/sexy goes a long way. She’ll probably end up sleeping with a Ryan Gosling look-a-like with bruises all over arms trying to sell TV dinner boxes (with no food) by the end of the season.