The real question that needs to be explored on this episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is what in the hell did Kim Richards ingest before or during that Poker Party and where can I get myself some of whatever she’s swallowing?

I kid. Addiction is not something to take lightly, but perhaps it’s also not something to trot out for the cameras that are omnipresent in the life one leads as a fading reality starlet whose chief storyline is a very questionable sobriety. The whole thing feels invasive to watch and wrong to write about, and I’m just saying that perhaps if I took one of Kim’s “pain pills,” I’d feel less guilty about chronicling the downfall of a woman who has hit bottom so many times that she has constant grass stains on her knees.

Maybe Bravo is aware that they’re diving into the abyss of codependent misery and taking uncomfortable viewers with them, so we begin this episode on a (natural) high and silly moment at Kyle’s store, the one … Continue reading →

I should be happy. I should be thrilled. Because on the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we were treated to the two most magnificent sights in all the land: Yolanda’s perfect glass refrigerator and Lisa Vanderpump’s spectacular closet. But I find that I am unable to maintain the joy that the sight of Lisa’s purses and Yolanda’s lemons normally give me because what the episode really centered on was the continuing decent of Kim Richards, a tragic and broken shell of a woman who should never have been cast on a reality show that’s not called Intervention.

Here’s the thing: when she’s sober, Kim is not all that interesting. She speaks only of her children and of the past success she had as a child star and her voice is tremulous and shredded from years of smoking cigarettes and crying into glasses of chardonnay. When she’s off whatever wagon she was momentarily being dragged down the street by, she is vacant and infantile and prone to lashing out at the wrong … Continue reading →

Ladies and gentlemen, hell has frozen over.

That’s right – you should grab bottles of water and canned goods and take cover and prepare for the following: swarms of locusts, Lindsay Lohan becoming the most reliable actress of our time, and the Kardashian family at large developing some real talent. Yes, the world – at least the world as I know it – has ended, because tonight on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I found myself really rooting for Kyle Richards.

I wish someone had cued me into the fact that the first twenty minutes of the show was just filler. I could have spent that time folding my laundry or reading Dostoevsky or counting my teeth using only my tongue in order to collect the strength I’d need to simply view the real portion of the episode when Kim went legitimately batsh*t crazy, Brandi became a slurring enabler, Kyle showed more true fear than she ever has on this show before, and Lisa R became the new Goddess of Truth, who I … Continue reading →