I’m back. My week off from Bravo (and recapping) turned out to be a week off from TV in its entirety, something of a fast, I suppose. Sadly without weight loss. Apparently I missed Kim’s nose’s quinceneara and another White Party, at which Dr. Paul essentially admitted the truth of The Glands’ litigation allegation, much to Adrienne’s dismay. Oh, and Lisa’s old house burned down causing Adrienne to run amok. I’d hate to be stuck with that fool in a real emergency. Also happening:

* Lisa Vanderpump has been announced as a competitor on the next season of DWTS! It seems like something of an older-skewing group, although that may be because I don’t know who half of them are. It’s hard to say whether she’s technically the first Housewife to land on DWTS, as Joanna Krupa from RHOM was on DWTS before she became a Housewife (which was kind of odd in the first place), but regardless you know NeNe and Tree are steamed because DWTS is definitely a bigger deal than The Apprentice … Continue reading →

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. Last week Steve asked me when this season is going to be over because it seems like it has been going on forever. I can’t help but agree. But we must be getting near the end, as the White Party is upon us next week! I will be in a remote location with neither internet nor Bravo, so I will miss the party and won’t have a recap next Tuesday. I’ll try to catch up when I return. In the news:

– Phaedra Parks has shared that she has only gained 11 lbs. with her current pregnancy. Everybody knows you are only supposed to gain 25-35 total.

– The Glands’ book is out, and already selling fantastically well according to Amazon. It’s #60 overall and top five for various subcategories, and the reader reviews are generally quite positive (other than the predictable handful who find all things Glands, such as vaginal rejuvenation, totally appalling).

– The LA cop who allegedly went on a … Continue reading →

Why hello! Another painfully lame RHOBH episode, but at least another one that’s Tay-free. It’s been a very busy week for Housewives elsewhere, so let’s hop to it!

– Former NJ Wife Dina Manzo announced on Twitter that she and her husband are separated. In what may or may not be related news, several internet sources have reported a blind item that a reality TV couple’s impending divorce was inevitable from the start, as the male half was gay and living across the street with his boyfriend the whole time.

– Also in NJ, Melissa Gorga’s ex-boyfriend Bulldog has been super busy tweeting threats that he is going to drop an “atomic bomb” on her life this season. Apparently the swing of the storyline this year isn’t too favorable to Melissa. RealityTea observes that Melissa sure has a whole lot of people out to get her, which starts to seem odd after a while.

– On the west coast, Dr. Paul has filed suit against Bernie the Enforcer for extortion and defamation over the … Continue reading →