Happy new year! After two straight Mondays free of this absurdity I was perfectly horrified to see RHOBH scheduled for 2 HOURS of Vanderpumping bitchiness tonight. I strapped on my astronaut diapers and steeled myself for a long, painful, late night, and so could not have been more grateful when the storyline segued into the premiere of Vanderpump Rules at around minute 63, at which point I retired for the evening. As Melissa Gorga would say, thank you baby Jesus! Intrastaff sex and waitstaff catfights will have to wait another day, for me at least. While we were out:

* Feige, who appears to have finally made it to FOH this season after years of striving, posted her first blog entry (about Kyle’s dinner party) on the Bravo website only for it to be taken down after a deluge of angry commenters descended. I think that is a first for bravotv.com. In related news, BH police are investigating a death threat Feige received in the form of a note left on her car, which would … Continue reading →

And we’re back. Certainly the puerility of reality TV, and the Housewives in particular, seems a lot grosser this week than last week, but I do hope we can find something to laugh at in it, because after all laughter is the best medicine.

In the suspended-reality of Bravoland the Oof-Ifs are still shouting all sorts of profanities and defamatory remarks at The Glands, but as the sands have fallen through the hourglass here’s what’s been going on for the Housewives in real life:

* Both Richards sisters have signed up for some totally idiotic new competition show called “STARS in DANGER: The High Dive”, at least the second half of the title being self-explanatory. Other “stars” to compete on this show include JWoww, and Antonio Sabato, Jr. Let’s be honest: the only reason anyone is going to tune in to this is to check the competitors out in their bathing suits. I cannot believe Kyle is doing this considering she wouldn’t be seen out of her caftan on last season’s trip to Hawaii … Continue reading →

Back again to more absurdity in the BH9. Buckle up now, babies. Before that, the news:

* The big general gossip is all about The Glands and the various crises she is having. She’s getting a non-cancerous tumor removed from her boobie sometime soon; she’s getting sued by the Oof-Ifs (more on that later); and her public dispute with Mr. and Mrs. LeeAnn Rimes continues. Mr. LeeAnn continues to lob accusations that The Glands is a neglectful mother who is just as boozy as she claims his current wife to be. On the bright side, this past week LeeAnn gave an interview on E! with Giuliana Rancic that must have been intended to improve the public’s perception of her; said interview apparently failed miserably, and The Glands says advance sales of her memoir got a big boost.

* Someone also told RadarOnline that The Glands is phonying up her disputes with her fellow cast members, and in real life she’s super chill and rational. Apparently no one gave the memo to the Oof-Ifs. Mr. & … Continue reading →